Monday 30 June 2014

Digging into myself..

Digging deep into myself to see what I find...
all I feel is emptiness, trying to stay strong
but weakness always wins, the weakness 
of always having to stay strong.
I keep crying out that I don't belong here. 
I keep searching for the purpose of my 
existence. My heart has been tortured so
many times. I have been living a lie and I
still manage to find peace. There is a force 
deep within me, there's a voice that tells me
never to give up. If I gave up, I might as well
lay down and die.

I have only one best friend. One thing that will
never leave me no matter where or who I am
and that's music. Music is the reason I am still
here. It's the reason I haven't given up yet. I owe
everything I am to you.

Sunday 22 June 2014

Screaming heart

Once again, here I stand alone. Heartbroken, lost, never to be found.
I knew this day would come and I dreaded it all along.
All I want to do right now is scream loud at the top of my lungs.
Can you hear me? Do you hear my heart beat?
As your love fades from my heart, it feels like a thousand knives
cutting deeper and deeper inside.
They twist and they turn until I am left with no soul.
I wouldn't mind because then I won't be able to feel, to cry, to love
so hard that it burns and tears me apart and if I can't feel your love, 
then I don't want to love, there would be no use in trying because it
would never be honest, real, crazy, passionate and true like it was with
you...

Friday 13 June 2014

Forget Me Not

So many questions, the answers are hidden somewhere in the depths of my soul.
Your spirit, your heart is so close but yet, you are so far.
When will we get it right? When will the stars be aligned?
My heart will die if I won't feel your love again. Right now, I feel it's already dead.
Magic only happened when you put your hand on it and it started to beat.
Only you can revive me.

Will we ever be one? Will our time ever come? Or will we wait forever for each other?
I know I will...but God has the final say and I am in no position to question God's will.
If not now, maybe we will be together in another life unbelievably in love.
I can't say goodbye because that would hurt too much. Instead I'll say: see you later my
love. Forget me not! You will always be in my heart!

Saturday 7 June 2014

Journey to paradise..

I have to start my life over..but how?
I was never good at letting go. 
Just the thought of not seeing you, feeling you again breaks my spirit.
Sometimes I feel like life is playing tricks on me with the amount of
pain and loss I have to deal with.
 I just want to be free...

The only place I feel at peace is in nature. I just sit on a rock all day, watch the waves fold into each other, the tree is like a tent around me, the sun glistens through and the colors are so beautiful. 
I feel at ease, my problems don't exist, I become one with nature for that moment.
There is no one around me, no distraction, all I can hear are the waves. This is my perfect paradise. No pain, no tears just pure beauty and silence. The loud sound of the real world is at great distance and I feel content with just being alone. I breathe and then release everything and all that's left is forgiveness. That's what I call perfection.

I would want to teach you so bad, what life really is about. Take you on a journey. Just you and me...