Thursday 9 April 2015

CAC2014: Toxic (Part 8) [Last Part]

Isn't it funny how light illuminates the darkness? Darkness always gets defeated.
From that day on, there was nothing but light in my life. I started to focus on me. For the first time, I cared about what I needed instead of making other people feel good about themself. I wanted to be happy. I felt I deserved it after everything I've been through. At that point, I really didn't care about other people's problem because I felt that after all this time, nobody really cared about mine either. People would call because they wanted something, not to ask how I was. That hurt for a long time, but I realized that all I needed was me. If I know who I am, know what I deserve, love myself, then I can get through anything and everything.
I turned to the one who never leaves, who loves me: MUSIC. Then, I found him. My other half, who understood me, who wanted to know me, who cared about me, about who I really was and what I'm really about. An angel sent from heaven, sent to me by God. He saved and changed my life in every way possible. We lifted each other up. He became my best friend.

What have I learned? To always move forward and never look back. I've come far. I don't want to turn back now. The past is the past. That door is closed. I never want to open it, but it did make me who I am, it's a part of me. I am thankful, because I don't think I would be as strong as I am today. Now I know what I want and I am full of hope. I honestly believe that 2015 will be my year and I'm sure it will be full of surprises!

Thursday 2 April 2015

CAC2014: Toxic (Part 7)

He did come back. I just couldn't take it anymore. But he made me weak with one touch, one kiss, one hug. We made love over and over again. We were filled with undying desire. He made me feel electric. Our hearts burned together as one. He needed me as much as I needed him. I loved him more than life, but if this is what true love is supposed to look like, then I would rather hang myself. I couldn't live with a broken heart..I'd die either way...

The day came when I said no. I had to do it for me. I needed to take back what belonged to me. I started with my soul that he stole. It got to the point where there was nothing he could say to make me feel better, to make me believe him or to keep hope alive. Every word felt like a slap on the face, every touch felt like a stab in the heart. It was toxic, addictive. He was my addiction, my drug, my angel who was the devil himself.