Fear Of Deceit

Thought I had finally found you,
My other half, who loves me truly,
Who would do anything,
Who I can give my all to,
But our paradise might be built on a lie.

Thought I wouldn't have to be afraid to open my heart again,
That you'd take care of it til the end.
Now I'm not so sure..

Uncertain about everything that surrounds us..

I'm falling though, more and more.
To the point of no return and it hurts.
I hate seeing you like this,
I see deep inside you.
You're not you.

Secrets are killing you, killing us.
Speak to me! Don't hold back.
Do you still love her?
Am I just convenient for the moment?
Is it her you really want?
What do you want from me?
Where do you want to be?
Am I a fool?
Are you just waiting for the storm to pass so you could run back?

I need to know!

If so, I'll make things you complicate easier.
I'll walk out that door, take all that was beautiful and slowly
let it all go...

Complicated Feelings Of A Troubled Soul

That feeling...

When you're looking someone in their face, but they still can't see you.

That ache...

When your heart can't take any more pain and is close to breaking.

Those tears...

That roll down your face one after another, never ending, forever flowing waterfall
you can't control.

That silence...

When you're surrounded by people, but all is mute.
Sometimes I want to scream just so they know I'm there..breathing still,
alive still, that I still feel even though I feel completely invisible.

Loneliness...

It's deadly. This kills more than anything else. You drown in your tears, never overcome
your fears because you have no one to share with, no one to listen.

Heartbreak...

Mine just broke. Don't know if I'll ever be the same.

Death of an angel...

Life is not a game. Play it wrong, you fail. This world is beyond me, I don't belong here.
Let me fly high, sleep peacefully until my soul is born again. I just want to be free...

Kissed By The Devil

Your skin on mine.
It's the most beautiful thing I've seen in my life.
It was true, it was real, I know that much.
So how could you?
When we love each other deeply.
Or is this not love?
Are you the devil with an angel face?
How could you hurt me like that, say those things,
put your hands on me?
My wounds are now visible to the world.
The scars will never heal.
I've been kissed by the devil who fed me poison
and lived off my devotion.
You pierced my soul with your dagger of anger.
You shot me multiple times with your hurtful words.
Each word, one bullet.
I wish I was able to not remember, but I relive what you did
to me, how you treated me every day.

Wasn't I the only one who cared about the real you and what's inside?
I just wanted to love you.
Well maybe you're right, love isn't enough.
Love can't be enough in a cold world full of hate and betrayal.
I was always there though. I never left like all the others, but
all goes unnoticed, unappreciated. Same script, different cast.
The difference this time?
I know my worth. No, I'm not perfect. I may not be the smartest,
the fastest, the most confident, hard or the toughest, but my heart is pure.
I can love. I don't hate, I don't judge. I accept, I embrace, not reject.
This is who I am.

You asked me a long time ago if you deserve me or not.
My answer to that now is: NO, you don't.
We built castles in the sky and you destroyed our kingdom.
You kicked down all the doors, smashed every window.
I pick up the shards as they slice my skin and cut deeper and deeper.
I see our reflection, but it looks nothing like us.

I love you so fucking much. I do.
I want to believe we'll make it out alive, unharmed, but the truth is
you lost my trust. You killed us, you finished us,
but now we can rest in peace side by side, knowing that we tried.
We've been to hell and back, so maybe in heaven I'll be yours and you'll
be mine..