For months I didn't really know where I was, who I was, why I was still here. I wandered down the empty streets for nights searching for answers, loaded up on my favorite cigarettes for "inspiration" and was on a mission to find "inner peace". I wrote song after song, poem after poem. I admired the view from the mountain, listened to the birds sing. I felt the sun burn my skin and for the first time in a long time, I felt peace take over me for a few moments..just to find myself drop to the ground again..
So many thoughts were running through my head. It wasn't just him.
My sister...my babygirl..my little sunshine, who gave meaning to my life was ripped from my hands on March 21st 2014, the same day my mother was released from jail. I think it was the worst day of my life. I'll never forget. Something precious was taken from me that day. I couldn't get my mind 'round it. I was just sitting there..it just didn't sink in. What are we doing here? - I asked. But I would never ever get actual answers, just lies, lies, lies and broken promises.
The night before, I told her it was all going to be okay, that she'll come home with me, that we'll watch a movie and make dinner together..and it didn't happen that way..
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